Vezzini say 'Go back to the beginning.'
Wait, Lucy! I can 'splain!
How to get there
Who are these people?
Other places we can tell you to go
See us. Really see us.
These are the things we say.
Published works perpetrated by these people
Thrilling true tales of our travels
Bhakail_fencing Yahoo group

(see the Wordle for this page! (from


"In 141 miles make a 'U' turn." - Collin's GPS


"Touch me in my meaty parts again and I might get unhappy." - Alesone


"Tadcaster Militia: we have a lot of mottos... 'be nice' is not one of them." - Griff

Alesone: "The fewer Tads present, the worse we are."
Melchior: "We're homeopathic that way."


"I'll small box that. ... 'I'll small box that'? Did I say that out loud?" - Lissa

"If you loved me, you would stab me!" - Lissa

ir: "I don't even want to know what's in a 'pirate curry'."
Jibril: "Arrr! Prepare to be boarded!"
Lillia: "Ew! That's not making it better!"

And from the archives…
Griff: "You could be the CEO of a company, but in Society you're a leper."
Melchior: "With a Pelican!"
ir: "… Leprosy as a service?"


"Hashtag: substitute dentist." - Melchior, Declan, Andre, ir

"Porn is not necessarilly social networking." - Berric

"But now Your Majesty has two stunt Davii. … Which is two too many." - Alexandre

"May I have the paddle, please?" - HRM Kiena

"You gave your dress to the Baron? … Well done." - HRM Gregor

"Giving rise to the phrase, 'Ride'em like a Bhakail Herald." - Alexandre

Alesone: "Bruce, why are you wearing Ian's cote?"
Bruce: "But I liiiiiiiike it! It's so niiiiiiice!"


Melchior: "I'm not sure how they got off all those shots with a bolt action."
Alesone: "Maybe it's one of those new fangled, semi-automatic, bolt action rifles."
Melchior: "... wait. What?!?"


[pointing at contrail] "Iron Man! Wait. That can't be Iron Man, [points a different contrail]that's Iron man... [points back to first] that's Rhody." - Rivka

"I keep forgetting that... I could make positive comments, too." - Tristan


"Wait. The cruft for your goat curl?" - ir

"No, it tore out of the hole I was using." - Simon

"Did you have a nipple bug?" - Lillia

"It's all fun and games until we start playing face frisbee?" - Lillia

"No, I'm the one with the blood, you're the one with the vomit." - Sabine

"I've only had the hot sausage." - Darmon

"No one has ever got there and said, 'The weather was delightful'." - Rowen

"If you turn it sideways, it gets bigger." - Suba


"If you wait long enough, I'll do something stupid." - Duncan

Kovey: "Hoy! Hoy! Bonk."
ir: "'Hoy hoy bonk?'"


"Since The Fop will blow out the crotch, I've decided to preemptively expose the inner seams." - Alesone


"She is not tender with horns." - Sabine


"It's wiggley. It feels wrong in my mouth." - Katie

"It's not my fault I always look like I'm lying." - Lissa

"I admit it: I am not a good dad." - Bruni


"My advice about Edmund: if he's going to suck on you... [gestures at face] anywhere but here." - Engracia

"It was the 80's." - Davius

"Well, if it was a face merkin..." - Donovan

"But how would they rip it off, if they're wearing a mask? It would have to be a mask merkin." - Kiena

Declan: "Merkin Man!"
Kiena: "No, it needs to be more muffled."

"This crepe is making me want to move in with it and have its babies." - Declan

"If we combined Griff and Antonio... Antonio might get some hair out of the deal." - Kiena

"Did you just ask 'Where's the sex happening'?" - ir

"You could put your hand up and say, 'you guyyyyyyys, I am sooo armored right now!'" - ir

"'You seem a nice enough fellow, I hate to kill you.'" - ir

Kirtinka: "'You seem a nice enough fellow, I hate to kill you.'"
ir: "Heeey! I just used that one!"

"What the f-" - Davius, new Queen's Champion

"Wait, WHAT?" - Fraser, new Silver Crescent

"Oh, French-ify that." - Nataliia

Collin: "Hey, Ryan! Want some speed?"
Griff: "Shut up! Are you not understanding were we are? Are you TRYING to get us murdered?"

"Doesn't a proper lady have a man to protect her cookies?" - James

"I'm a good student, I show my teacher titties!" - Mabel

"He trained his wife how to slide it back in." - Davius

"Davius was not upset, Davius was dead as f@ck." - Davius

"No, I've had your chocolate. Your sweet, sweet chocolate. In my mouth." - Bruce

"I wouldn't put my mouth on that." - Bruce

Bruce: "You don't have signal? What are you using?"
ir: "... A phone."

"'Punitive motorboating'?!" - Meryke

"It'll be an SCA cargo cult; waiting by the road for the spurs to fall from the sky." - Antonio

"No! Stop touching meeee! I am the kniiight!" - Bruce, as Antonio

"'Excuse me, Sir Antonio, may We have a word?'" - ir, as The Crown

Jehane: "Ian, do you sometimes look at this monstrosity you've created and shake your head?"
ir: "'Sometimes'?"

"Seriously, Collin? You're gonna slap both your knees and say 'I wanna be the mean Baron'?" - Ysmay

"Aw, Bruce, is the gentlemen standing behind you 'hurting' you with his 'nice'?" - ir

"Ian, don't prime that pump. Leave the pump alone! ... Stop. Touching. That. Pump." - Ysmay

Ysmay: "Thomas the Sofa Magnet!"
James: "Magnate, or magnet?"
Ysmay: "MagNET."
ir: "It's better that way. ... ffffffffoomp."
Davius: "Aaaaaaagetitoffmegetitoffmeee!"

Ysmay:"But his super power only works on /sofas/."
ir, as random citizen: "Help me! I'm being attacked by a love seat!"
ir and Ysmay, as Muin, as Thomas the Sofa Magnet: "... Nope. Wish I could help."
Ysmay:"Worst. Superhero. Ever."

"Davius! Bring me a spoon? A silver one." - Kiena

"What, seriously?" - ir

"No context for you, you're too young." - Davius

"Nope! I only work when I'm your pocket." - Declan, as Bruce's cel phone

"Apparently, your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device... in the event of a water landing." - DeCastellan

"'Her Excellency would have before her, her Cut-a-Bitch.'" - Declan


"You might want to come behind me and push those in further." - Lissa

"The only thing I haven't been feeding him is his sisters." - Annys

"Was that me? YESSSS!" - Evan

"I'll never get a Maunche, I don't make anything. Just dead people". - Davius

"Do I really need my balls?" - Declan

Melchior: "Are you hot-boxing haggis in there?"
Baron Hamish: "You get to stay."


Avi: "Horrible aim, much?"
Rivka: "Well, he's a bad guy. He's supposed to have bad aim."


Quotes from 2012 >